.Saturday, April 28, 2012 ' 1:32 AM Y
sometimes i really wonder if i really did something wrong or just biased against me. even though i do agreed that communicatin is not there but doesnt mean that judgement or comments towards me should be this way.
it is pretty obvious answer that the attitude shown is totally different and obvious. nowadays, i've being feeling so sorry for myself till the extend i'm asking why?! why am i feeling this way? why am i aren't smiling like before? why this, why that...
it's really getting annoying and irritating. why should i behave this way, it doesn't or shouldn't be. it just happened in split seconds. study is not really an easy thing, as it does have its own stress and worries, same goes to working. a lot of people, including me, i always will think, "aiya, studying is easy. cant compare with working" but i was wrong. both have its own tiredness.
i have being studying since the start of the year and especially nowadays, i'm really easily tired as my school hours are like working hours. every monday to friday, 9am - 5pm. when i got home, i felt so tired but i still got to revise or do some assignments. everything that i had learnt in poly days, i had returned back to my lecturers once graduated which was 3 years back. currently, really had hard time coping, especially i had high expectations to myself with goals set ahead.
i used to think that home is a place that you will always want to go back to as you'll definitely feel more peacefully than any other place but i am feeling doubt now. rather feeling the peace, i felt more stressful and fear. always just want to hide in the room or just get out of the place but i'm really too tired.
overall, i just don't want me to feel sorry for myself and be positive. i bet i can and i will. just be tough and strong for this 2 - 3 years and i will be better. (:
p.s: i hope to get a date soon, just you and me...
Love. Sincere. Trust. Care.