.Saturday, April 28, 2012 ' 1:32 AM Y
sometimes i really wonder if i really did something wrong or just biased against me. even though i do agreed that communicatin is not there but doesnt mean that judgement or comments towards me should be this way.
it is pretty obvious answer that the attitude shown is totally different and obvious. nowadays, i've being feeling so sorry for myself till the extend i'm asking why?! why am i feeling this way? why am i aren't smiling like before? why this, why that...
it's really getting annoying and irritating. why should i behave this way, it doesn't or shouldn't be. it just happened in split seconds. study is not really an easy thing, as it does have its own stress and worries, same goes to working. a lot of people, including me, i always will think, "aiya, studying is easy. cant compare with working" but i was wrong. both have its own tiredness.
i have being studying since the start of the year and especially nowadays, i'm really easily tired as my school hours are like working hours. every monday to friday, 9am - 5pm. when i got home, i felt so tired but i still got to revise or do some assignments. everything that i had learnt in poly days, i had returned back to my lecturers once graduated which was 3 years back. currently, really had hard time coping, especially i had high expectations to myself with goals set ahead.
i used to think that home is a place that you will always want to go back to as you'll definitely feel more peacefully than any other place but i am feeling doubt now. rather feeling the peace, i felt more stressful and fear. always just want to hide in the room or just get out of the place but i'm really too tired.
overall, i just don't want me to feel sorry for myself and be positive. i bet i can and i will. just be tough and strong for this 2 - 3 years and i will be better. (:
p.s: i hope to get a date soon, just you and me...
Love. Sincere. Trust. Care.
.Tuesday, March 27, 2012 ' 9:49 PM Y
yup, i passed my driving.
at least i do not need to spend X amount of money to book the lesson etc.
i'm actually pretty proud of myself
not because of i'd passed
but is because i had completed it by my own effort.
i can say is satisfaction. :)
as for now, i'm licensed to drive the car on road
but somehow i'm still pretty worry.
i guess i must blame on that so-called 'safety video' of theirs.
it seems to be horror video than safety video la!
my god.
whatever it is,
the happiness has yet to hit me. :'(
getting license should be the most happiest thing
but i'm not... yet there...
guess is time for me to Zzzz soon..
Love. Sincere. Trust. Care.
.Sunday, March 18, 2012 ' 9:07 PM Y
am i really too much?
im aware of what's the situation
till the extend of me eating only one meal a day,
either cup noodles or maybe some food that will last,
or maybe just a bottle of green tea for the day.
trying not to spend whatever is left for myself.
you aren't aware of it.
why even bother what or how others think?!
yes, will lose "face" but that's the fact.
it's really okay for current situation as long as in the few years later, is not remaining the same.
am i right?
but i guess, afterall i'm wrong..
Love. Sincere. Trust. Care.
.Saturday, March 17, 2012 ' 8:01 PM Y
"where do you want to go..."
sounded familiar?
it will always be one of those common questions asked.
tired.
nothing much to say but to feel empty and lost.
shall just keep myself busy and busy.
that will be the best solution.
Love. Sincere. Trust. Care.
.Monday, March 12, 2012 ' 5:01 PM Y
had no idea what's in your mind..
play with mobile, computer games, or will be busy with cars..
what else...
ever though of when's the last time we dated?
what's the last thing u ever prepare for me specially?
where's the places you mentioned that you will bring me go?
the places i wanted to go, when will we be going?
all this, answer in me, "don't know"
it just an unknown questions in me.
sometimes really cant blame girls, or myself,
for envy other couples.
we don't really want to compare but at times is really hard.
the sweetness in the relationship just fade away completely,
or maybe i can say the sweetness that had happened,
it just an illusion...
losing sight of myself and getting to feel confuse on what's real...
Love. Sincere. Trust. Care.
yup, i passed my driving.
